The Time We Lost Ellie

We lost Ellie yesterday. 

It was so horrible. 

We went to Jaron's parents house for the evening for the 4th of July.

Toward dusk, I felt like we should go home and put the dogs inside. 

I didn't listen. 

We got home so late, and my mom did too (she was with Topher). She called me and said Ellie wasn't home. 

We looked everywhere. 

For hours. 

Jaron and Grant went out. 

Kayli and Tyler

Treva 

Patrick 

Topher even came out to help us look 

She was nowhere. 

I went out to look too, while I could get away from Haley. I ended up at the cemetery feeling hopeless. I went to Auntie's grave and poured out my heart. I begged for help from Auntie and Pat and any angel that could be spared. I cried and cried and pled with God to bring Ellie home for Grant. 

My poor Grant.  

He was distraught. 

Absolutely shattered. 

The few times Jaron called me while they were out looking I could hear him sobbing in the background. 

Ellie is his best friend. His world. He loves her with his entire soul. 

I felt so awful. 

I knew better than to ignore my thoughts and feelings. I got careless and now I felt we were all paying for it. 

But this story isn't about that. 

It isn't about the worry and the tears and the anguish. 

It's about God and His goodness. His mercy and care. 

I ended my prayer at the cemetery and just felt like I needed to go home. 

Just go home. 

Everything will be okay. 

Go home. 

So I went home. 

I fed Haley and sat down in my rocking chair in my room and minutes later Grant came in. 

He broke down and cried on my bed. 

Jaron was still out looking. 

So were our family 

I held Grant and we cried together. 

He had so many worries

Questions 

Doubts 

Fears 

Questions I had no answers to. 

Doubts eating away at his hope. 

Fear twisting his stomach in knots. 

Like me. 

I shared with him what my one "answer" was. 

To go home. 

He told me after his prayers, he felt thre exact same thing. 

There we were. At home. 

I told him I felt we could do no more now, but morning would come. With more light. More we could do. 

But for now, he could sleep. 

I watched my boy lie down next to Ellie's collar and cry himself to sleep. 

I hardly slept. 

When I did, I dreamt of finding Ellie. 

I woke at dawn, and hoped against hope that when I went downstairs she'd be waiting by the door. I left the gate open all night for her. 

I walked downstairs and she wasn't there. 

My heart sank as I went and closed the gate. I had to let Khazu out of his kennel. 

I went to let him out and heard a weird noise. 

I turned and looked under the camper and saw something.. could it be? I wasn't sure. 

I moved to the side of the kennel and sure enough. 

It was Ellie. 

I burst into tears and called her to come out. 

She barked at me instead. 

After lots of coaxing she came out and I got to have a fluffy Ellie hug. Tears rolled down my cheeks as my heart re-inflated with love and gratitude and relief! We ran inside so we could tell Grant she was home. Grant was still asleep on our bed, right where I had left him. I woke him up with Ellie by my side. 

He cried tears of gratitude too. 

I told him id care for her and he could go back to sleep. 

It was a long night for all of us. 

Ellie is home. 

She is safe. 

Im grateful 

So grateful 

I am grateful for God's love and care 

For his mercy and kindness 

For loving family 

Angels here and in heaven

for answered prayers 

And our sweet Ellie.